I don't wanna blog. I don't wanna act, or direct. I don't wanna work out or go to work or school. I don't wanna be told what to do - or tell others what to do. I don't wanna turn 30. I don't wanna have a baby. I don't wanna do chores or cook or write.

I want to plan a garden - but I don't want to plant it.
I want to be on the road with Husband, bare feet on the dashboard, book in hand. I want to sing out loud without caring who hears. I want to learn to meditate, to still my mind without thinking it's silly or incompatible with my own religion - rationally, I know that is nonsense. I want to purge myself of my negativity, but retain my sense of humor.

I want to see what others see. I want to know why I have trouble succeeding. I want to stop feeling so overworked and lazy all at once. I want to stop seeing myself as less than worthy.

I want to be happy.